Building Self Esteem

Ever wonder how you can stay calm and collected and build your self esteem? The following are some tips to help you become aware of things that drain your self esteem and energy. I’ve read many of these using a dart board analogy, but I decided they were more like thorns in your side or splinters. I’ve chosen spinters.

Imagine you’re a carpenter and you have to work with a piece of rough cut wood. If you don’t wear gloves you will end up with splinters. We will use these splinters to show relation to things you should avoid that drag your self esteem down..and why you should wear your gloves. Everyone knows that one small splinter can be very irritating and sometimes it even festers if it isn’t dealt with. The things that destroy your self esteem are like splinters and they can fester if they aren’t taken care of.

Splinter #1: A Work Environment Full of Negativity

Our daily work environment often involves that “dog eat dog” mentality. You loved your job when you took it but you soon realized it was all about who could get to the top the fastest. In people’s climb to the top they step on a lot of other people. If you get wrapped up in this you’ll begin to realize that others will never show their appreciation for the work you do. It’s okay to compete, but do it in a healthy manner that does crash your self esteem.

Splinter #2: How Other People Behave

Negative people, gossipers, backstabbers, those who wallow in self pity. All of these people have the power to bring you down and your self esteem. Avoid these people as much as possible and if you do have to be around these people, don’t give them control. You may not be able to control the actions of others, but you can control your reaction to these people and their behavior.

Splinter #3: A Changing Environment (work, home and other places)

Some people hate change, the meer thought of it makes them cringe. But change is often a good thing. If you’ve stepped off into the world of personal development then you’re aware that you want changes in your life, you want to bring good things. Don’t let a negative changing environment get in your way. Accept the fact that things change and move on.

Splinter #4: Living in the Past

It’s okay to reflect on the past or to cry when you feel pain. But if you stay in those emotions it will eventually manifest itself into fear. Mistakes can be two things–you can consider them as failures or as a lesson. If you choose to see your past mistakes as a lesson then learn from it and move on. Once you begin seeing them as failures your self esteem is doomed.

Splinter #5: Seeing the World in a Negative Light

Do you wrap yourself up in the negativity the world has to offer? Stop it. Yes, there is a lot of negativity out there, but there’s also positive and pleasant experiences too. Learn to make the most of the worst situations. This is a good self esteem builder and also makes you feel better. Begin each day seeing something beautiful in the world and take time to appreciate it. Maybe you like red roses. Find a red rose, look at the beauty of it, take the time to really see the red rose, see it as the reddest rose you’ve ever seen. Enjoy the sight of it. There are thorns in the world, but among the thorns are many roses in many awesome colors. See it.

Splinter #6: Determinational Theory

It’s believed that your behavior is the end product of genetics, how you were raised and outside environmental factors like your surroundings, spouse and the friends you keep. This may be true to a degree, but it’s not written in stone. Just because someone in your family, maybe your father, was a failure doesn’t mean you are. you are, in reality, responsible for your own self. You can also use other peoples’ mistakes to learn from as well. You can let other people’s behavior determine your behavior either by acting the same as they do or making a conscious effort to not act the way they do.

Are some people just born to be positive thinkers? No, they aren’t. It’s an active choice they make in their lives (as adults). Children are natually positive because the outside world hasn’t had too much influence on them yet. Some times you need to take the time to see the world through a child’s eyes.

Self improvement, personal development, building self esteem and character–all of these things take a little time and often a lot of effort. The rewards you receive are well worth it though.

Remember, the negative things are like splinters and if left under the skin they can fester and create a nasty sore. Tend to them quickly. Take an active part in your life and your actions and create a harmonious world within. Self esteem will follow.

Image courtesy: http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1266/726423470_0fb7ccc429.jpg?v=0

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